Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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