Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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