girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize