i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
