one word: firstdatebathroomanal
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
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