your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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