3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I touched a dick in church today
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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