Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize