1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
