You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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