I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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