He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Your dad touched me again.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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