I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
