I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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