All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize