When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
