I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
