Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I puked a lego.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
