I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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