guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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