He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
