im drinking this country out of the recession.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
