Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
