is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
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