I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Randomize
