Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
