I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Dicks are not precious.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
