Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
