Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
