Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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