Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
