I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
oh god was she eating orange peels again
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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