wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
