what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
