i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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