dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
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