We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
