yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
