I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
