I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
