There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
