love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
