Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
