UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
