If that was your dad, he is hot
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize