I cockslap morals
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
