how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Randomize
