You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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