The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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