Me too!
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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