so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
