we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize