No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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