The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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