the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
