i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
