if you like me you must not know who I am
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize