i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
