didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Sober January is a disaster.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
