i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
